Chris Wallace: good evening. Great evening. I’m kris Wallace and also welcome come the 3rd and final Presidential Debate. Tonight is going to it is in a lot prefer the third lord of the ring movie. Girlfriend don’t yes, really wanna watch, yet hey you’ve come this far. Now, let’s welcome the candidates. Donald J. Trump and also Secretary Hillary Clinton.

You are watching: Donald trump v hillary clinton debate cold open - snl

Hillary Clinton: Hi, exactly how are you. Hello, Chris. Give thanks to you for having me. IN the very first debate, I set the table. In the second debate, i fired increase the grill. And tonight, ns feast.

Donald Trump: Chris, I’m walk to begin this debate in the quietest voice possible. In the past, I have been big and loud but tonight ns am a sweet tiny baby Trump.

Chris Wallace: the is an excellent to hear. Our very first question is because that you and it is around reproductive rights.

Donald Trump: They’re ripping babies out of vaginas.

Hillary Clinton: Listen, Chris, I’m glad you elevated this topic due to the fact that what two far better people are there to talk about women’s issues? Me, a woman that has had a child and also has taken bear control and him, a guy who is a child and whose challenge is birth control.

Chris Wallace: and also we’re turn off to the races. Let’s speak integration. Mr. Trump, why are you immigration policies much better than secretary Clinton’s?

Donald Trump: because she wants open borders and also that is crazy. Ns mean, people are just pouring right into this country from Mexico and also a many them are very bad hombre.

Hillary Clinton: Oh, bingo! Bingo! I gained bingo. Sorry. Sorry. I’ve been play all year and also I acquired it. I have ‘Bad hombre’, ‘rapists’, ‘miss piggy’, ‘they’re every living in hell’ and also ‘if she wasn’t my daughter’.

Chris Wallace: Congratulations secretary Clinton. Mr. Trump, please continue.

Donald Trump: I have actually a fantastic relationship through Mexico, okay? I have personally met with the mexican president. I forgot his name. Ns think it to be something like Mr. Guacamole. I’m sorry, excuse me. Senior Guacamole. I likewise met his beautiful wife, Takito. And their twin children, chips and also salsa.

Hillary Clinton: Chris, here is the truth. Donald stated he was gonna be hard on Mexico but when he met with the president, the choked.

Donald Trump: Wrong, trademark.

Hillary Clinton: he has additionally said he is gonna be hard on Russia yet he is usually Putin’s puppet.

Donald Trump: Liar, trademark.

Hillary Clinton: and he has promised to be challenging on ISIS, however he has never explained how.

Donald Trump: That’s not precisely true. Below is specifically what I’ll do. Very first off, Mosul, it’s sad. And we’re going after Mosul since ISIS isn’t Mosul however she produced ISIS. And Iran must write us a letter of give thanks to you, because Iran is taking Iraq. And so we’re going to Mosul and also Iran’s going to write us a letter of– listen, where Aleppo isn’t a disaster and Iran is Iraq and also with Mosul, it’s ISIS–

Chris Wallace: Mr. Trump, Mr. Trump, We need to move on.

Donald Trump: Oh, give thanks to god. Ns don’t know if you might tell but I was yes, really spinning out of control.

Chris Wallace: Secretary Clinton, now I’d like to ask you around an ongoing worry for your campaign. Wikileaks has actually been releasing your project emails, many of i beg your pardon raise some severe questions.

Hillary Clinton: thank you, um, because that bringing up mine emails, Chris. Ns am very happy to clarify what to be in some of them. Um, sorry, what? Carol? What? Sorry, I assumed I heard my friend Carol. Anyway, earlier to her question around the way that Donald treats women. And that is friend pivot.

Chris Wallace: So, you’re just never going come answer a question around your emails?

Hillary Clinton: No, however it is a an extremely cute to watch you try.

Chris Wallace: Now, Mr. Trump, in the last week, 11 ladies accused friend of sexually assaulting them. Execute you still deny each of those claims?

Donald Trump: Chris, that course i do. I’m completely innocent. I’ve said this before and I’ll to speak it again. No one has an ext respect for females than i do.

Chris Wallace: Alright! Alright! clear up down. Work out down, entire planet. Work out down. Our following question is about the economy. Mr. Trump, why space you much better equipped than secretary Clinton to fix the economy?

Donald Trump: due to the fact that Hillary has actually no idea exactly how to fix anything. If she did, she would have actually done that already. Ns mean, what has she to be doing–

Chris Wallace: No, Donald, don’t. Don’.t

Donald Trump: because that the critical 30 years.

Chris Wallace: — don’t collection her up please.

Hillary Clinton: I’d be happy come talk about last 30 years.

Chris Wallace: Oh, no. Not again.

Hillary Clinton: ago in the 1970s, I functioned for the children’s defense fund.

Chris Wallace: Yes, yes, yes. Us know.

Hillary Clinton: Then i was a councilor in brand-new York ~ above 9/11.

Chris Wallace: Yeah, we get it. We acquire it.

Hillary Clinton: and then ns was secretary of state and I don’t understand if you’ve heard this before–

Chris Wallace: us have.

Hillary Clinton: — however I was critical in taking under a man by the name of–

Chris Wallace: Osama Bin Laden.

Hillary Clinton: Osaamaaa a-Bin a-Laden!

Chris Wallace: We’re an extremely proud that your accomplishments secretary.

Donald Trump: Chris, if she deserve to brag around her resume yet I am the one who’s acquired all the hefty hitters sustaining me. I average I have gained the creme the the crop. I’ve acquired Sarah Palin. I’ve got Chachi, and get this, I’ve also got the finest Baldwin brother, Steven Baldwin.

Chris Wallace: Secretary Clinton, let’s move on to entitlement. Will you raise taxes to save programs like Social Security and also Medicare?

Hillary Clinton: Yes, but only ~ above the really wealthy. Because that example, my contributions will certainly go up also Donald’s assuming that doesn’t number out a method to obtain out that that.

Donald Trump: such a nasty woman.

Chris Wallace: Whao! Whao! Whao! Mr. Trump, that was incredibly rude come secretary Clinton.

Hillary Clinton: give thanks to you, Chris. That’s exactly the kind of language that has actually poisoned and also debased this election. And if you agree, go to and buy a limited edition ‘Nasty woman’ mugs.

Chris Wallace: and now we have actually returned come the huge story of the week. Mr. Trump, it has actually become really clear that you’re more than likely going come lose.

Donald Trump: Correct.

Chris Wallace: Now, when you do, will you expropriate the results of the election?

Donald Trump: I will look in ~ it at the moment because, frankly, this whole thing is rigged. Even the media. Daily I rotate on the news, and all of the news casters are making me look for this reason bad.

Chris Wallace: and how space we law that?

Donald Trump: by taking every one of the points I to speak and every one of the points I do and putting lock on TV.

Chris Wallace: Donald, Donald, listen, I’m do the efforts to assist you buddy. So, repeat after me. I, Donald Trump…

Donald Trump: I, the ideal ever, Donald Trump…

Chris Wallace: …promise come accept…

Donald Trump: …promise come accept…

Chris Wallace: …the results of this election.

Donald Trump: … the results of this choice if i win. Obtained you loser, trademark.

Hillary Clinton: Chris, what he has actually just said is horrifying. And that’s why, americans have critical decision come make. In between the 2 of us, who execute you trust to be your president? The republican or Donald Trump?

Chris Wallace: thank you secretary. Now, we are practically out the time.

Donald Trump: Yeah? No, allow me simply make certain that I’ve said everything that I wanted to say. Okay, I’m good. I’m good.

Chris Wallace: Now, prior to we conclude, you every will have actually one minute for your closing statements. Mr. Trump, we’ll begin with you.

Donald Trump: thank you, Chris. And also thank friend to all of my supporters. Due to the fact that of you, ns am win in every single poll taken outside of the crackle barrel.

Hillary Clinton: Secretary Clinton.

Hillary Clinton: hear America, Donald Trump cannot be president. He would certainly be a disaster. A failure. A complete F. And also America, friend deserve better than an F. So, top top November 8th, poll for me and I promise I will be a rock cold B. Donald Trump: and then ~ above November 9th, make certain to inspect out trump card TV. You’re gonna dislike it.

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Hillary Clinton and also Donald Trump: And live from brand-new York, it’s Saturday night.