“So far, I’ve only read the title page, and it seems to be around how the former president and also his allies pressured D.O.J. To overturn the 2020 election,” Stephen Colbert stated on Thursday.

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Stephen Colbert described Donald Trump together “The huge Lie-bowski” top top Thursday’s “Late Show.”Credit...CBS

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Under Pressure

The Senate Judiciary Committee released a new report on Thursday, title “Subverting Justice: just how the former President and His Allies Pressured D.O.J. Come Overturn the 2020 Election.”

“So far, I’ve just read the location page, and it seems to be about how the previous president and his allies pressured D.O.J. To overturn the 2020 election,” Stephen Colbert stated on “The late Show.”

“According come a new Senate report, previous President Trump directly asked the Justice department on nine different occasions to overturn the 2020 election. Nine? was he in the ago seat that the car? ‘Will you overturn the election?’ ‘No!’ ‘Will friend overturn the election?’ ‘No!’” — SETH MEYERS

“Trump really thought he could get away through throwing the end the vote. He told people at the D.O.J., ‘You guys aren’t following the net the method I do,’ which ns assume means they aren’t Googling ‘Mushroom dick normal?’ over and also over again.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Fortunately, lawyers at the room of Justice threatened to resign en masse if he replaced the attorney general, who refused to execute his dirty work, with one of his cronies, who presumably would. He’s such a Karen, isn’t he? ‘Let me speak come the lawyer general! that won’t? Well, go he have actually a supervisor? placed him top top the phone!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Of course, there was no acknowledgment the this check coup — and that’s what it to be — native his other Republicans. Senator chuck Grassley’s office this morning issued the G.O.P. Version of the report, i beg your pardon says, and also I quote: ‘Trump listened come his senior advisers and also he complied with their advice and recommendations,’ which is a nice method of saying he want to fall the government but the lawyers wouldn’t let him perform it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“But that’s how close we came. Trump do the efforts every avenue he might think of: the courts, the states, the vice president, the justice Department. He’s prefer the male in gridlock traffic who keeps switching lanes, and also then throw his hands up as soon as it no work.” — SETH MEYERS

The Punchiest Punchlines (Raise the Roof Edition)

“We almost didn’t have actually a government to save, many thanks to previous President The big Lie-bowski.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“As i mentioned, Congress has reached a deal to progressive the debt ceiling for two months. I’ll tell girlfriend what ns think: simply do what Netflix does and raise the ceiling a little bit every month so nobody notices.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Woo! progressive the jae won roof!” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“This method America will remain solvent and cost-free from gaue won calamity. Until Dec. 3.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

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