You are watching: Does the father of the bride pay for the wedding
Fresh off her engagement, you're more than likely ready to publication a venue, certain a wedding planner and also buy a dream dress. But prior to you tackle any kind of of that, there's one significant question you need to address: that pays because that the wedding?
"These days, anything goes once it comes to paying because that a wedding. Involved couples taking care of the finances is ~ above the rise. In fact, our academy surveyed wedding experts for our annual International Wedding trend Report, and 68% reported that the couples were resources the bulk of their very own expenses," states Kylie Carlson, the CEO that the international Academy that Wedding & event Planning. "At the very same time, the legacy of the bride’s parents contributing is still very prevalent, specifically in particular regions. V some weddings, costs are split in between the couples and also other members the the family. You’ll also run into scenarios whereby parents space divorced or remarried, and splitting the costs. Grandparents might chip in — it really does depend on each individual wedding."
In various other words, naught is collection in rock when it comes to who pays because that a wedding. There are wedding traditions, the course, however you don't need to adhere to them. Anything goes! No matter who contributes, it's a welcome gesture—whether it's set of parents, both sets of parents, grandparents, or anyone else. On the other hand, if the pair funds the whole affair themselves, castle retain more control over the wedding budget. There's no ideal or wrong means to separation wedding costs—each family and also situation is unique.
As girlfriend navigate your own wedding, budget and also cost-splitting, here are some things to store in mind as you figure out who pays for what.
1. Ask Each collection of parents If and How They Would favor to contribute to the Wedding
It is best for the bride and also groom to have a personal discussion an initial before speaking to parents around helping to cover costs. “Please, you re welcome talk around costs increase front,” claims East coast event skilled Rebecca Gardner. Write-up agrees, and also advises couples to climate delicately broach the subject with household members. “It is finest to expression it as, ‘We were wondering if friend would like to add to the wedding,’” she suggests, adding that couples need to emphasize the they room “not expecting anything.” If parents are willing to contribute, ask lock to be clear about their expectations and also what they are, or aren’t, ready to pay for. “I can’t tell girlfriend how countless brides’ mothers won’t pay because that a dress if it’s no a spaghetti strap dress!” states Post.
"Communication is an essential to maintaining the peace. The last point you want is a misunderstanding and you find yourself coming up short, or who feeling prefer they should contribute much more than they expected," add to Carlson.
2. Take into consideration Who Traditionally Pays for the Wedding
Traditionally, the bride’s household assumed most of the jae won costs linked with a wedding, including the wedding planner, invitations, dress, ceremony, and also reception, follow to Lizzie Post, cohost the the amazing Etiquette Podcast and also great-great-granddaughter that Emily Post. “It’s harder come think around this now, and I am a feminist, but historically it needs to do v the old practice the a bride’s household giving a dowry to the groom’s because that assuming the ‘burden’ the a bride,” she says. “In Victorian times that changed a bit to offering a trousseau, which to be a year’s precious of clothing and home item in addition to paying up-front costs.”
The bride's parents also traditionally hosted the engagement party. The bride herself was responsible for the wedding flowers, bridesmaid gifts, the groom's ring and also a present for the groom.
The groom’s household traditionally payment for all costs associated with the rehearsal dinner and also honeymoon, wedding job transportation and also the officiant. That came with a string, in that the groom's parents typically then chose the officiant, together well. The groom paid because that the bride's engagement ring, wedding ring and also groomsmen gifts.
3. ...But additionally That Today, many Couples add Financially to their Wedding
Today, much more couples are straight contributing come the wedding. Simultaneously, more grooms’ households are also willing to break-up costs. Still, it’s not “courteous for the bride’s family to asking the groom’s family members to pay,” defines Post.
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4. The Couple's age Has nothing To do with who Pays for the Wedding
"Age has actually very little to carry out with paying because that the wedding," says Carlson. "It’s really much more about how financially sound the pair is on their own, and also the duty their household wants come play in the wedding."
Post agrees: "Age do not do it be a factor when contributing. Whether you are getting married in her 40s or 30s or 20s, a parent need to want to help, as long as that is financially viable because that them.”
5. Financial contribute to her Wedding deserve to Come through Strings
If you're family members is helping to substantially foot the bill, you might find you yourself in tricky situations where they space insisting top top their method rather 보다 your way. If you have the right to foresee that happening, you might want to think about taking care of the costs yourself. "You’ll be much calmer having actually the wedding you want on your terms, even if you ultimately end up scaling earlier the festivities," says Carlson.
6. Discover Ways to show Gratitude at Every Turn
Gratitude goes a long way when world do commit come helping. “Brides should remember to take care to it is in effusive if someone else is paying for your wedding,” says Gardner. “You have to honor their part in the wedding. Mental the golden rule: Whoever has actually the gold, rules.” This applies especially once invitations are being drafted, as well: “If the bride’s household is paying because that the wedding, their name should come first and practically exclusively,” says Post. Because that example, the invitation would then begin with other like: "Dr. And Mrs. Arthur Smith inquiry the honor of your presence at the wedding of their daughter mary Ann to Everett Montgomery." If both sets of parents room paying, you have the right to opt for wording like: "Charles and also Delaney Tout and Harold and Claudia Kohn invite you to celebrate through their children Amelia and Stephen." (If the bride and groom are paying because that the wedding, then just their names should be top top the invite.)