(Editor’s Note: Congratulations come KT, Jobetta, and also Darice for being the winners the this month’s compensation drawing. KT and also Jobetta will each obtain a crate of Trojan Mint Tingle condoms and Darice will obtain a box of Trojan warm Sensations condoms.

If you want to watch a snapshot of prize drawing entries in a condom, click here (Warning: perhaps NSFW).

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Ahh! Summertime.

It’s a time when you deserve to sit on your porch swing at night through a cold, tall glass of homemade lemonade and look at the constellations in the sky, hear to the crickets chirp, and also bitch about how frickin’ hot it is.

It’s a time when the mercury in the thermometer rises directly up, prefer it’s just taken a couple of Viagra. It’s so hot, even Kevin Federline sweats while sit on the couch and also staring in ~ the tv all day.

To win the heat, there are countless things we can do.

For example, we can play through a slip ‘N’ Slide. It’s a good way come cool down, except when you get captured by your next-door neighbors for utilizing their water spigot or when you get chafed nipples from all the sliding.

Another great way come cool down would certainly be to go to the coast or swim pool, which room crowded this time of year. Girlfriend can acquire instant cooling satisfaction through jumping into the water. Of course, this is an excellent until you hit a warm spot in the water, which renders you wonder if it’s warm since of the sunlight or because all the little kids are peeing in the water.

Perhaps the best means to cool down, without are afraid of chafed nipples or little kids peeing in the water, is to drink something cold. Fortunately, Jack in package has brought out Jack’s source Beer Float, made with Barq’s source Beer and “real vanilla ice cream.”

Why is “real vanilla ice cream cream” in quotes?

You’ll review why later, yet it’s type of choose the reason why “straight” is always in price quotes when human being write around Tom Cruise.

Recently, it’s been getting into the low 90s, and I’ve been feeling the heat. I would’ve carried out the on slide ‘N’ Slide, but my nipples were chafed native (insert your creative thinking here). Instead, I determined to drive to the nearest Jack in the Box and pick up their Root Beer Float.

I decided to use the drive-thru, because I ain’t steppin’ outside.

When I got to the drive-thru window, I can see them making my source Beer Float. First, they put in the “real vanilla ice cream cream,” which regrettably was the kind of fake, comes-in-a-bag soft-serve vanilla ice cream cream. It’s the very same stuff Jack in the Box provides for your milkshakes, i m sorry isn’t an extremely dense, so that melts quite quickly and it’s smarter than me.

Next they included the source beer, i m sorry thankfully to be Barq’s source Beer, among my favorites.

When I got it, the ice cream stayed at the bottom, which, if you’re acquainted with root beer floats, was whereby it shouldn’t have actually been. ~ flicking the cup a couple of times, the ice cream quickly rose to the top, proving as soon as again the saying, “Cream constantly rises to the top, except when the creme is offered to remove zits or herpes.”

After drink the Jack in package Root Beer Float, I have to say that i wasn’t really impressed with it. It was decent, but anyone might make a better one at home.

Plus, they didn’t even give me a frickin’ spoon.

Item: Jack in package Root Beer FloatPurchase Price: $2.29Rating: 2.5 the end of 5Pros: Decent. Barq’s root Beer. Cup has a red gyeongju stripe.

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Cons: provides soft offer ice cream. No frickin’ spoon. I can make a far better one in ~ home.