Dealing with PTSD, pain, and also grief inspired the absent star to start a wellness company and live for the moment.

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ONE DAY, TRAVIS BARKER would choose to acquire on an plane again. That won’t recognize when it’s coming, but he has actually an covenant in place with someone very close to him: They’ll tell him come be all set to go in 24 hours, and also Barker will certainly know specifically what for. He’ll pack an overnight bag and get in a auto that will take him come an airport, where he’ll plank a plane for the very first time because 2008, when doing so adjusted the course of his life.

“There’s a million things that might happen come me,” he says one unseasonably warm afternoon in late March, sitting shirtless in a lounge chair in the backyard that his longtime residence in the Calabasas hills outside Los Angeles. “I could die riding my skateboard. I could get in a automobile accident. I might get shot. Anything can happen. I could have a brain aneurysm and also die. Therefore why should I still be fear of airplanes?”

Barker has every reason any person could have to never set foot on an aircraft again. The drummer and also producer, well known for his developmental career with Blink-182 and also for his high-profile relationship (currently with Kourtney Kardashian), is in a subset the the populace so little it proper exists as a category: he is the last remaining survivor that a airplane crash.


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In September 2008, after playing a south Carolina display with his friend and also collaborator Adam “DJ AM” Goldstein, Barker boarded a private airplane with AM and also two close friends, assistant kris Baker and security security Charles “Che” Still. Throughout takeoff, the tires blew, and the airplane overran the runway, skidded throughout a highway, hit an embankment, and burst right into flames. The 2 pilots, together with Baker and also Still, were killed; Barker and AM to be able come escape through an emergency exit. Barker was covered in jet fuel and engulfed in flames. He sprinted throughout the highway on fire; AM ultimately helped put it out v the shirt off his very own back. Barker, who’d currently had a lifelong are afraid of flying, experienced third--degree burns top top 65 percent the his body and also spent three months in the hospital, whereby he underwent 26 surgeries and multiple skin grafts. He to be unable to attend his friends’ funerals. Almost a year ~ the accident, AM passed away from a drug overdose.


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When you’re lucky sufficient to survive an ordeal the should have actually killed you, no one will certainly fault you because that excising that details risk from her life, for enabling yourself the luxury of hopefully no going up in flames ever again. But Barker says he will certainly fly again. “I have to,” that says, nodding. “I want to make the choice to shot and overcome it.”

Barker has actually done the occupational to move on from the night his life changed, come reclaim his traumatized body and mind. That learned to walk and drum again and did month of therapy; much more recently, he’s acquired into boxing and also breath work. In February, he became one that the many unlikely deals with of the Goop-paved celebrity wellness trend when he presented his vegan CBD line, Barker well-being Co. He’s continually functioning on new music, and there’s a documentary top top his life in the works.


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With all that recovery behind him, flying again is no only around closure. Barker also likes to imagine how redemptively normal it would feel to return residence after the trip—to walk with his front door and drop a bag onto the floor and hear his kids’ voices indigenous the other room. “If I carry out it, and the angels over help me in my travels and keep me safe, ns would prefer to come back and , ‘Hey, I just flew here, and then i flew home. And everything was fine.’ I need to tell them, due to the fact that I almost left them,” Barker says. That sits back and looks out across his yard, relishing a fantasy that would sound routine to many everyone else yet is still out of reach: “That’s a perfect day.”


BEFORE HE became KNOWN, as that puts it, together “that dude who endured a aircraft crash,” Barker to be largely recognized as the prodigiously talented drummer because that the pop-punk band Blink-182. He was born and also raised in southern California’s Inland Empire, whereby he started taking jazz lessons and playing in a north line at period ten. After ~ high school, the played approximately in L. A.-area ska and also punk bands and collected a reputation as creative and captivating drummer. In 1998, mark Hoppus and also Tom DeLonge recruited him to sign up with Blink-182; a year later, the trio ran naked through Los Angeles for the “What’s My period Again?” music video, and their album Enema that the State walk platinum.


Beyond Blink, i m sorry enjoyed substantial commercial success v the early aughts, Barker’s an innovative life take it off. He started a garments line, join the punk-rap supergroup the Transplants, and married and started a family members with the model Shanna Moakler, through whom he costarred on a short-lived but beloved MTV truth show, Meet the Barkers. (It aired for much less than two years—as lengthy as the marital relationship lasted. The two now share custody of your children, Landon, 17, and also Alabama, 15; Barker is likewise stepfather to Atiana De La Hoya, Moakler’s daughter native a vault relationship.)

After Blink-182 went on hiatus in 2005, Barker started working more in hip-hop, and in 2008 that teamed up v AM to kind TRV$DJAM. AM combined tracks onstage, and Barker drummed live to them. They began to publication regular gigs and also played the MTV video clip Music Awards the summer; Barker to write in his 2015 memoir, Can ns Say, that the felt prefer he was “building a new structure to my music career.” but their tragic flight out that Columbia, southern Carolina, came just 12 days after the VMAs. They played a few more times together, including a triumphant collection at Coachella the following spring, prior to AM’s fatality in 2009.

Barker is soft-spoken and gentle in conversation, a demeanor in ~ odds v his ferocious technique to the north set. He is a cursed father and also brightens when he speak me exactly how he recently caught his kids on his security camera taking his automobile for a joyride. He has actually vivid, light-blue eyes and also a preternatural comfort with making prolonged eye contact. He is covered in tattoos—he explains them as a “scrapbook of my life”—including a fresh cursive Kourtney above his left nipple. (A glimpse of the tattoo is the most I’ll gain on that topic, though. Barker has remained in the windy eye for 20-plus years, however he’s guarded around his love life. As soon as I ask around Kardashian, he politely speak me the won’t it is in addressing their relationship: “I mean, it’s everywhere,” that says.)


It provides sense the Barker might feel protective end this new part of his life. He has actually been asked come tell the story that the day he virtually died many times, and also his publicist had warned me he could not desire to acquire into the grisly details. I deserve to understand a version of this fatigue: I endured a near--fatal auto accident in 2015. Favor Barker, I spent months in hospitals and also rehabilitation, undergoing surgeries and also eventually discovering to to walk again; uneven Barker, I have a fellow survivor through whom I deserve to share mine darkest thoughts and also my gripes about lingering pains, or even just a knowing, appreciative look across a room. As soon as Barker lost AM, he shed the only other life witness to the most precarious moments of his life.

When AM to be alive, Barker says, “we were every other’s therapists.” Together, castle tried to uncover support networks for people who had survived plane crashes however found they only really existed for world who had lost love ones. “So the was just him and me. When he left, ns was like, ‘Oh, fuck. I’m the just one in my club. It’s just me.’ and also I discover my methods to attend to it.”

The experience of cheating death is a natural dividing line in one’s life: the before and also the after. For Barker, it encouraged his decision come live healthier and also quit abusing prescription drugs. He says he was never ever a huge drinker yet prior to the crash acting “an extreme amount that weed”—up to 20 backwoods blunts a day—and his painkiller habit, which started as a means to cope through his are afraid of flying throughout Blink tours, was negative enough that he depleted his body of calcium and also developed osteoporosis. In the hospital, he frequently concerned during surgeries since his opioid tolerance was so high. By the moment he gained out, he’d had actually enough. He flushed all the medications he’d to be sent residence with under the toilet—“including stuff that i really needed”—and never ever looked back.


“People are always like, ‘Did you walk to rehab?’ ” Barker says. “And ns , ‘No, I was in a airplane crash.’ that was mine rehab. Shed three of your friends and almost die? that was my wake-up call. If ns wasn’t in a crash, ns would have actually probably never quit.”

He will have the occasional drink, and he’s slowly trial and error THC restaurant for Barker health Co., a gritty and different player in the burgeoning field of celebrity-branded cannabinoid health products. “I felt choose there to be a gap in the marketplace,” Barker says. “I never really care about, like, ‘Oh, execute I right the mold to carry out this or that?’ I almost like gift like, ‘Fuck it, even better if ns don’t.’ ” He states he started using CBD “religiously” to recuperate from exhausting tours, once he to be drumming 5 hours a night. He got the idea the he might improve top top the assets he to be using, making castle both cruelty-free and vegan. This days, he offers his company’s CBD ointments and also tinctures to regulate residual pain and also to aid him sleep, and also he claims he will never do hard drugs again.

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Barker’s physical recovery from the crash was grueling. As a punk-rock drummer, he is accustomed to pushing his body and living hard—he’s been supergluing his torn-up hand shut after reflects for 20 years, and he is a multimillionaire with a broken phone screen. “I definitely do push my body,” Barker says. “I know that it’s resilient.” when he to be bedridden in the hospital, his muscles atrophied; he had actually to find out to to walk again and feared he would shed his sense of rhythm.

“I to be told ns wasn’t walk to run again due to the fact that I had actually so numerous grafts on my feet, and there was even talk the me never ever playing the north again,” Barker says. He cure it all as a challenge. (Barker, a lefty, taught self to drum right-handed.) “As shortly as I might walk, I could run. As soon as I might move mine hands and my hands healed, ns was play drums. And now I’m in better shape 보다 I’ve ever before been.”

Barker has been vegan due to the fact that 2009, consistently runs 3 to 4 miles a day, and also works out through a boxing trainer. A few days after we talk, he write-ups a video of himself snowboarding cautiously but joyfully in Deer Valley, Utah, ~ above a expedition with Kardashian and his kids. He additionally drums every day, which because that him serves together both a full-body workout and a necessary mental reset—he feels off if the doesn’t play.


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